i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
