My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We just shotgunned beers for America
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
3pm strippers are depressing
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
