Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
