I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
