after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
