Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Actions speak louder than pants.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Found your dick twin last night
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
