We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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