I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
