At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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