White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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