you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
