In the future we'll all be gay
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my shit smells like andre
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
