i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
