How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
