All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
