dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
