Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Randomize
