Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize