my mouth tastes like poor choices
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
