Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
