if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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