I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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