all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
