he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
