I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
