i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
