I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
