Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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