i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
