I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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