It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
