whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
