some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
