I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
