You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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