Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
