Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
