So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
