Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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