would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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