You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
