I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have fence marks all over my body
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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