So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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