Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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