I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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