I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
