ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
