She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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