Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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