i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We are all done wearing pants today
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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