Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
