Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
