dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
