he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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