My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's blow job season.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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