I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
