well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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