Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
