I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
